Being a teen parent can be challenging and rewarding. It comes with lots of things to think about like how to parent, how to get enough support from the people around you, where to find housing if you need it, how to finish school, how to manage with more then one child, and what a healthy or unhealthy relationship looks like. This page gives young parents, guys and girls, in a couple, or seperated, information about the supports and resources available to new young parents.

The first really good resource for pregnant (expecting) or new moms and dads between the ages of 13 and 29 years old is Planned Parenthood Toronto’s TimeOut Drop-in Program. Time Out provides opportunities for young parents to connect and find support with other parents. There are workshops, education, and information on topics that are important to you. TimeOut offers childcare so that you can have a break while knowing that your child is being well looked after. TTC tokens and a hot meal are also included. To find out more about TimeOut, you can visit www.ppt.on.ca/youngparentsprogram.asp or call 416 961-0113 extension 139.

You can also call, e-mail or IM the Teen Sex InfoLine for information about any of these issues: call 416.961.3200, e-mail askus@spiderbytes.ca, or chat live using MSN Messenger – just add spiderbytes@hotmail.com to your Messenger.

Q: What will I do about school?

A: A good place to start is to talk to your school counsellor, if you feel comfortable with them. They’ll have the most up-to-date information on how your current school can support you. There are also places like the June Callwood Centre (www.jessiescentre.org) or Rosalie Hall
(www.rosaliehall.com) which offers fully accredited secondary schooling programs. Returning to school once the baby is born can be challenging. Getting a good support network in place for yourself and your child can help you succeed through school.

Q: Where will I live?

A: If living at home is not an option, you will need to find safe, affordable housing for you and your child which can sometimes be difficult if you have a fixed budget (a set amount of money per month). However, places like the June Callwood Centre (www.jessiescentre.org) and Massey Center for Women (www.massey.ca) do offer housing facilities for young families. Depending on your income you might be eligible for a subsidy. Again, you can always contact the Case Coordinator at Planned Parenthood Toronto to get help finding housing resources.

Q: My girlfriend/ex-girlfriend just gave birth. I’m not sure how to support her, or how to be a good father to my baby.

A: Being a new dad can be a big learning curve. Things can be tricky if you are still figuring out what type of relationship you will have with the baby’s mom (being together as a couple, being seperated but parenting together, being a single parent). Having a baby alone or together is a lot of work, it’s valuable to learn ways you can make things easier for her and the baby.

A lot of the resources above offer counselling for couples or for young fathers as well as for young moms, and the TimeOut program encourages dads to come to the drop-in. Focusing on learning new skills can be a great way to start deciding how you want to parent, and being patient with yourself and your baby’s mom is really important, too. It’s normal to feel like you have no idea what you’re doing – most first time parents feel like that! Give yourself time to work out the best parenting arrangement with your baby’s mom. There will be times when being a parent will be really hard, and there will also be times when it’s really amazing.

Q: I have a newborn and I have other children that I look after. I’m having a hard time, where can I get some help?

A: Being a parent to one child is a lot of energy, and multiple children can be a lot of work. There are agencies that can provide parenting support to help you get important information about ways to cope and keep yourself and your children in a state of good health and wellbeing. If you’re in Toronto, think about coming to the Time Out drop-in (see the top of this page), where you can have a break from parenting for a couple of hours, knowing that your kids will be well cared for. That’s also a great place to find out what other supports are available in the community.

Q: My baby’s father is hurting me, should I stay with him?

A: It’s never okay for your boyfriend/partner/baby’s father to hurt you or be abusive. Abuse is wrong and there are places to get help for you and your baby. Abuse can have a very harmful effect on you and your baby’s physical, emotional, and mental health. It can also be harmful to you and your baby’s self-esteem and your baby’s overall development.

There are places where you can get counselling, support, and the crucial information you need to know in order to make it easier for you to make the best possible decision for you. Most of these services are free of charge.

Assaulted Women’s Helpline ( Ontario) (www.awhl.org)

Crisis Line: Toronto phone (416) 863-0511; toll-free 1-866-863-0511

Toronto Rape Crisis Centre (www.trccmwar.ca) – Crisis Line: 416.597.8808

Barbara Schlifer Commemorative Clinic ( Toronto) (www.schliferclinic.com)

Women’s Counselling Referral and Education Centre ( Toronto) (www.wcrec.org) – 416.534.7501

Q: I’m finding it hard to communicate with the people I need support from. What can I do?

A: The way we communicate and react to other people is often developed during our own childhoods. If you’re worried about being able to relate to other people, it might help to talk to a counsellor who can help you work through your feelings and make changes. It’s normal to feel you want certain behaviors to change. It’s important that you take steps to make positive changes, for you and for your baby.

If the people you rely on for support are being abusive you may want to speak to a counsellor who can help you determine what steps you can take, i.e. putting limits on and/or taking a break from these relationships. You and your baby will greatly benefit from being surrounded by positive, nurturing, supportive people.

Q: I’ve been feeling really down (depressed) since I gave birth to my baby, how do I know if I have post partum depression?

A: Having a baby is a physical and emotional undertaking . Just after a woman delivers her child it’s normal to have high and low feelings. Sometimes it’s called the “baby blues”, which can last for up to ten days after you give birth. If these feelings continue after ten day, it’s really important that you get help. Talk to your doctor, nurse practitioner, midwife or other healthcare provider. If you don’t have a healthcare provider, you can visit Planned Parenthood Toronto Health Services to see someone (www.ppt.on.ca).

Some other resources:

Healthy Babies Healthy Children Toronto

Telephone: 416-338-7600

E-mail: publichealth@toronto.ca

Website: www.toronto.ca/health/baby.htm

Ontario Early Years Centres

For information on any Early Year Program or service contact 1-866-821-7770

For a complete list of Early Year Centers visit:

www.gov.on.ca/children/oeyc/en/index.html