Coming out to others means you are sharing part of your identity, but it’s also a way of
learning how to express and better understand your own sense of self. It’s your choice when
to come out ... or whether to come out at all.
Coming out to yourself is a huge step.
- People come out as lesbian, gay, bi, transgendered and many other things.
- You can come out to everyone or just a few people. (Or nobody.) It’s up to you.
- If you are thinking about telling others, you might want to consider who is good at
respecting your right to choose who knows. And who loves to gossip.
- People need their own amount of time to come out in the way they choose. There is
no right or wrong way. Sometimes it takes a lifetime.
Coming out is a constant process of learning more about yourself and deciding how to share
that with the people around you. By joining a local youth group that’s open to all sexual
orientations, you can explore different ideas for coming out. If there isn’t that kind of group
in your area, you might find supportive chat rooms and discussion boards on the web.
Surfing around, you’ll find gay-positive websites that offer advice and resources. You might
also want to read books about coming out.
SOME IDEAS
Consider the following tips, but decide for yourself the approach you like best.
- Start by telling one person. Choose someone you trust and who you think will be
supportive. Choose a time and place where you are comfortable and have privacy.
- You may want to:
- talk in general about the gay community to break the ice and hear your
friend’s thoughts
- give your friend a warning that you have something important that you
want to share
- be direct and just say what’s on your mind
- Tell the person whether you want the information private to remain private.
- Let your friend absorb the news. You may not get the reaction you were hoping for
right away.
- If you never get the reaction you hoped for, talk to someone else about it, like a
counselor or someone who has been through a similar experience.
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