Figuring out your sexuality, deciding if and when you feel ready to start having sex, and dealing with all of the feelings that come along with puberty can be complicated at the best of times. They can be especially challenging if what you’re feeling is different from what your family, culture, or religion might want you to feel. These differences can create tension at home. They can also make you feel stressed or worried about the decisions you’re making.

If your family is new to Canada, or has a different cultural or religious background than what you are finding in your Canadian community, you might be having trouble negotiating all the different messages you are getting. The messages you are getting from your family at home might be very different than the messages that you’re getting at school and from people your own age. It’s normal to feel worried about these different pressures, and to not feel sure about where your own beliefs fit in. You might share the beliefs of your family. You might share the beliefs of your peers (the people in your age group, classmates, friends). Or you might have your own independent ideas and beliefs.

When it comes to sex and sexual health it’s important to know that there are youth-friendly resources in Toronto that you can access that offer sex information, condoms, sexually transmitted infection testing and treatment, birth control options, pregnancy testing, a counsellor to talk with, and much more. A good place to check out is Planned Parenthood Toronto (PPT) (www.ppt.on.ca). PPT also offer general health services, for example you can see PPT about a cold or sprained ankle. PPT can be a one-stop shop.

Some religions are also very strict about sex and sexuality. This might make it hard for you to find someone to talk to and ask questions about sex. It can sometimes make getting factual information, condoms and birth control difficult. A trusted school counsellor, or a nurse or doctor might be a good resource. If you’re worried about going to your family doctor, then you can go to a different doctor or to a clinic like Planned Parenthood Toronto. Planned Parenthood is confidential, which means we don’t tell your parents or your friends – and others can’t, either.

For people who think that they might be gay, lesbian, bisexual, queer, or are questioning their sexuality in other ways, all of these issues can be complicated to deal with. You might be worried about how your family, friends or community will react, or worry that someone will find out before you’re ready to tell them. These aren’t easy things to deal with. Again, you need to take the time you need to figure out what is right for you. A good resource in Toronto is the Youthline, which you can access online at www.youthline.ca, or by phone at 416.962.YOUTH. PPT also has counsellors who you can talk to about coming out.