A lot of my friends have had sex and I don't know whether I should as well.

The decision to have sex is a personal one. While this may be the right time for them, it may or may not be the right time for you. To figure out if you are ready, you can ask yourself some questions:

• Do you have someone in mind with whom you want to have sex with?
• Have you thought about the possibility of pregnancy and/or sexually transmitted infections?
• Do you feel comfortable talking to your sexual partner?
• What are your reasons for having sex? Is it because you want someone to like you, because other people are doing it, or because you feel pressured?

Many people wait to have sex.

While sex can be fun, feel good, or be a way to get closer to someone, it can also have some consequences. It is a good idea to discuss concerns such as pregnancy and/or sexually transmitted infections with a sexual partner.

How do I know if I'm a lesbian?

Figuring out if you're a lesbian is not something that you have to decide right away. Sometimes, it can be confusing if you have feelings for a friend who is a girl.
It is different for everyone who thinks they might be a lesbian. You could have a fantasy about an actress or maybe you're really attracted to a specific girl you know. You may feel really nervous and excited when you are around them. All these feelings are normal and it doesn't necessarily mean that you have to call yourself a lesbian just because you like a girl.

Calling yourself a lesbian or identifying as a lesbian is something that only you can decide to do. There are some people that have sexual experiences with the same sex but don't label themselves as gay or lesbian. There are also gays and lesbians that have sex with people of the opposite sex but don't consider themselves to be straight. For many girls, being a lesbian is about being attracted to another girl's personality, looks or attitude. They may think about or be in relationships with other girls where they hold their hand, go out on dates, kiss them, cuddle or have sex with them.

If you think you might be a lesbian, there are lots of things you can do. You can call a phone line like The Lesbian Gay Bi Youthline in Toronto, 1-800-962-YOUTH and speak to a peer counsellor. You can also look up names of youth groups in the phone book or in local newspapers. Many people are confused about whether they are a lesbian, bisexual or straight. For some people it can take awhile to figure it out but that's O.K.

Do I have to have sex to be gay?

In the same way that you don't have to have sex to be straight, you do not have to have sex to be gay. Being gay is about a lot more than sex. It's about attraction, affection, love, relationships and friendships. For some people, being gay is about being part of a community, celebrating PRIDE, being able to walk down the street holding their partner's hand or just hanging out with family and friends that they care about. If you are questioning whether or not you are gay it can
sometimes feel that you won't know for sure until you have sex. Having sex does not define whether a person is gay, bisexual or straight.

Do I have to look a certain way to be a lesbian?

Many people feel that there is a certain 'look' to lesbians. It's a stereotype that all lesbians are masculine, wear guys' clothes and have typical male jobs. However, in real life there are some lesbians that like to look more like guys and have short hair and there are also some lesbians that have long hair and wear make-up and dresses. Lesbians dress exactly the same way as girls who are straight. If you have a style that suits you and you feel comfortable in, like wearing baggy pants and t-shirts, stick to that. You don't need to look a certain way to identify as a lesbian.

What does it mean to be a virgin?

The most common meaning for "virgin" is a person who has never experienced vaginal sex. This definition doesn't work for everyone and you can choose not to accept it for yourself. The word 'virgin' means someone who hasn't yet experienced something, and it can be used for any type of sexual activity. Virginity depends on what you think sex is. Every person, whether straight, gay, lesbian or bi-sexual, has their own definition of sex that works for them.

What is the right age to start having sex?

There is no right age to start having sex. It really depends on when you feel comfortable and the time is right for you. Everybody has a different feeling about when that time is and when the right age is. How ready you feel emotionally and how ready your body feels will help you figure that out. If you're not sure, think about all the reasons why you feel you are ready to have sex and all the reasons why you're not. You are the best person to make that decision.

Is it a sin to have sex before marriage?

The answer to this question will depend on who you ask. In many religions, having sex before marriage is considered to be a sin. There are many beliefs in religions and people make their own choices around whether to follow and believe them. Depending on the religion, one of these beliefs may be that a person should wait until marriage to have sex. Some people agree that it is a sin to have sex before marriage and wait until
they are married to have sex. Other people may disagree and choose to have sex when they feel they are ready. Some people say that it is O.K. to have sex if you are in a monogamous relationship or if you love your partner. Other people feel that sex and love are two different things and it's alright to have sex with someone you are attracted to and not within a relationship.

Because opinions vary it may be better to decide for yourself how you feel about having sex and the role your religious beliefs have in your life.

I had some sexual fantasies about someone older than me. Is this normal?

Many people have sexual fantasies about someone who is older than them. This is totally normal. The great thing about fantasies is that you can imagine all kinds of relationships and think about what sort of things you find attractive about people. You can also do things in your fantasies that you would never do in real life.

What's the difference between sex and love?

There is not one answer to describe the difference between sex and love.

Sex is usually looked at as an act. Many people define sex differently. It could mean having penetration in the vagina or anus with a penis or a dildo, oral sex or just touching someone else's genitals.

Love is usually looked at as a feeling. It can mean a feeling someone has when they really care about someone. It can be a friend, a lover, or a partner.

Sex and love can come together in relationships. Although many people love who they have sex with, you can be in a loving relationship with someone and not have sex with them. Sex is not the only way to express love for someone. You can also have sex with someone without loving them.

Why do people want to have sex?

People have sex for many different reasons:

• It feels good
• They are attracted to someone's body or personality
• Curiosity
• To experiment
• It's a release of energy
• It's a way to be close to your partner
• They want to get pregnant and have a baby
• To fit in
• Peer pressure